The content of the article:
- Auto horoscope from 9 to 15 April
- Aries
- Taurus
- Twins
- Cancer
- a lion
- Virgo
- scales
- Scorpion
- Sagittarius
- Capricorn
- Aquarius
- Fishes
The stars dressed up in new space suits and shouted "Let's go." In this April period, everyone celebrates Cosmonautics Day - the driver is applauded, pedestrians are dancing, the traffic cops are laughing. But cars have no time for fun - and how can you depict a rocket here if the roads are flooded with water and the wheels strive to measure the depth of each dimple. But nothing, we will somehow get out and rush to the destination. For those who have changed their shoes, heavenly forecasters advise not to accelerate more than a hundred meters - spring in spring, and ice in some regions has not been canceled. Also, grandmothers with seedlings itch - for sure, a couple of old women have already ripe tomatoes on the windows (such an activity would be for road services).
Auto horoscope from 9 to 15 April
Aries
Aries, wash your four-wheeled girlfriend thoroughly - the car is in spring mood and wants to look like a queen. By the way, ride carefully - not only bipedal creatures walk on zebras and sidewalks this April. Happy and smart cats are everywhere - the pussies celebrate the birthday of their idol Yuri Kuklachev. You can give a lift to the tailed animals, at the same time update the covers - the wool on the seats will look very original. The main thing is that the traffic cops do not demand documents from the passengers, otherwise they will have to take the cats to the passport office. In general, enjoy every kilometer and forget about congestion and fines.
Taurus
Taurus, the iron horse is enjoying the ride, but you can't say that about you - the chauffeurs of your sign are sad and sullen. Did you really read the weather forecast and were upset that the weekend was covered with a copper cover? Don't worry, this road week is full of surprises and adventures. If you don't believe me, slow down and consider the strange smiling guys sitting on the sidelines in the lotus position - they endlessly nod, bow and show aikido techniques. The machine immediately guessed what was the matter - it's Steven Seagal's fans celebrating his birthday (and he is not only an actor, but also a master of aikido). Do not stand for a long time, after all, you still have to call in to the office for the boss, or did the stars confuse everything again?
Twins
Gemini, each car has its own interesting story, and you can make films about your iron horse. But in which genre the movie will turn out depends on you - what do you want: thriller, horror, or melodrama? But first, stop somewhere in nature, put the horse in the bushes and admire the stars. If they start throwing apples at you, do not be alarmed and do not swear - you were not transported into the summer and stopped at a fruit stall. These are just fans of Grigory Yavlinsky celebrating his birthday. It is not necessary to join the Yabloko party, there is no need to debate either - your four-wheeled girlfriend is far from politics and economics, so take an example from her.
Cancer
Crayfish, steering wheel plus wheels equals a car - domestic car manufacturers think that way. And what's inside that knocks, dangles, but breaks, this is the tenth thing. In general, this week you will have to stop by the auto repair shop - the horse will be quickly put in order, and it will run like new. If you find yourself outside the city, pay attention to people hugging birch trees. They are not "green", but ordinary citizens listening to trees. The people celebrate the holiday of Birch - you need to listen to the movement of the juice in the birch. At the same time, you can collect a delicious drink with yourself, just do not confuse a canister with a can, suddenly pour juice instead of gasoline - oh, and the machine will rush, do not keep up.
A lion
Lions, it seems that only aristocrats are moving along the roads these April days. Drivers wrinkle their noses at the sight of puddles, traffic cops with two fingers hold wands (just look, they blow on them as if for tea), and pedestrians make a curtsy before crossing the zebra. The day of politeness seems to have passed a long time ago - maybe the spring sun has such an effect on everyone. In general, steer and do not leave the track when you meet the guys from the Night or Day Watch. These are fans of Sergei Lukyanenko celebrating the anniversary of their favorite science fiction writer. Throw the kids where they say they will suddenly leave some magic tricks in the salon or draw a portal if you get stuck in a traffic jam.
Virgo
Virgos, car manufacturers for advertising purposes advise us to forget about problems, they say, they will take care of everything themselves. Imagine if the communal services said so and ran in front of the cars, filling the holes and smoothing the cracked asphalt. Dreams, dreams - your car has long ceased to hover in the clouds, so you, too, please, do not count the traffic cops, but look ahead. If you suddenly notice impudent pedestrians who cross the street as they please, do not rush to swear and honk - perhaps a new product of the year has already been introduced in your area, and the two-legged are wandering in the Zone of Quiet Traffic. The stars are shocked, the cars are horrified - slow down to twenty km and don't worry.
Scales
Scales, throw buckets, flasks, plastic bottles into the trunk and hit the road - rivers and puddles have not disappeared from the roads, and many drivers will pretend to be water carriers these April days. If you have to go at night, you can turn off the headlights - everyone celebrates Ostrovsky's birthday and turns on the spotlights - well, like a ray of light in a dark kingdom, as in the work "The Thunderstorm". The main thing is not to become guilty without guilt after talking with the traffic cops (they probably forgot the works of Alexander Nikolaevich, read at school, and so they are fierce). And think about changing the color - the horse is tired of merging with the gray landscape, and she dreams of a bright spring outfit (both outside and in the salon).
Scorpion
Scorpions, off-road tests are coming to an end - the horse will happily put on April wheels, change plush covers for light spring capes and happily get rid of luggage junk. But in the countryside during this period it is better not to ride - they say there is real chaos. Rivers overflow their banks, traffic cops jump out of bushes, pedestrians jump out of zebras - well, no one will even notice that, in such potholes, even arrange trenches. And do not eat in roadside cafes - on Friday they celebrate the birthday of Catherine de Medici (the queen was a famous poisoner, what if the waiters turn out to be her fans and pour salt instead of sugar into the tea?).
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, for any driver, safety comes first, and only then comfort, convenience and other delights of life. The stars predict that this road week will be relatively calm, but of course it's too early to relax. There is a special offer for the drivers of your sign - you can communicate with the traffic cops in sign language. And pay attention to the pedestrians - they wave their hands and speak without words. Nothing strange, just everyone celebrates Claire Windsor's birthday and remembers the roles of the silent film actress. Even the four-wheeled girlfriend has stopped humming and communicates her desires with the help of the wipers - oh look, it seems that the car is unhappy with the speed you typed.
Capricorn
Capricorns, there is enough legroom, there is also enough space for your hands - it's even a pity that you are just a driver, and you don't need to jump and dance while driving. But if you want to warm up, drive into some dark alley. There are no gopniks in these April days, and there is no smell of traffic cops either. But the stars are swinging again - watch the road. When you meet auto ladies, pay attention to their mysterious smiles.They do not know any secrets, but simply celebrate the birthday of Leonardo da Vinci and try to portray La Gioconda. Look, even your horse grins and dreams that you will paint her portrait.
Aquarius
Aquarians, stars ask: who is the last one in this incredibly long traffic jam? And how do you manage to find congestion - it seems that the machine is deliberately choosing difficult routes. So it is - an iron horse is bored to ride on empty tracks, so it reaches out to its kind to chat about car life and complain about an indifferent owner (a pebble in your salon, so think at your leisure how to improve your relationship with a wheelbarrow). And don't be surprised if you see a crowd of smart pedestrians with microphones buying flowers and singing about a million scarlet roses - the guys are celebrating Pugacheva's birthday. Decorate the car in honor of the holiday - the car loves all the songs of Alla Borisovna.
Fishes
Fish, smart suspension, ingenious panel, talkative steering wheel - and where the road world is heading, drivers will soon be unnecessary. I uploaded the program to the car and let him go and complete the task. And we'll sit in the garage and sort out the banks. True, this is how you can live up to serious changes - the cars drive, and the chauffeurs serve them. Leave this topic for science fiction writers and go to the village to visit relatives or friends - it's fun there on April days. And brew oatmeal in a thermos - and treat your fellow travelers, and offer the traffic cops in a plate instead of a bribe. Well, and what - the patrol will be pleased, otherwise they are interrupted from sausage to cheese, completely emaciated. They will also celebrate World Bunting Day.
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